In my younger days my family members jokingly referred to me as LieAnn. If you couldn't figure it out from the nickname I was a lie-aholic. I would lie about everything and anything for no reason. I can't tell you why I did it. I don't know if I was scared of the truth or just thought it was fun but it's a part of my life I look back on and wish I could change.
As I grew up I realized that it is so silly to lie. The old adage that it's easier to remember the truth than a web of lies is very true. Slowly but surely I learned to admit when I made a mistake instead of thowing up some lie about why I did it or even that I didn't do it at all. I learned that its ok to not have an answer for something and its better to admit that I don't know than make up something silly and false.
I think once you've been through something major (in my case a decade of lying) and you see somebody else going through the same thing you have one of two reactions. You either sympathize with them. Hey you've been there before and felt that same weakness. Or you have no patience for them. You've been there before and were able to change and become a better person.
I've been dealing with a liar at work over the last few months and I'm at my wits end. I want to tell this person that they are being silly. There is no need to lie, it's ok to be wrong or make a mistake or not know an answer. I go through phases where I just laugh it off but some days I can't help but try to catch her in her web of lies and make her look silly. Unfortunately, bringing the lying to her attention is not an option for me so I try to lean more towards the laughing it off.
Brene Brown on Boundaries & Empathy
2 years ago