Monday morning I woke up and uvula (the little bally thingy that hangs down in the back of your mouth) was swollen. It was a little irritating but not to bad. Tuesday the pain and swelling extended down to my non-tonsils (the place my tonsils used to be until I had them out five years ago). Still not too bad until I got home Tuesday night. I asked Russ what he wanted for dinner and he said he wanted Sheppard's pie (my family's version is mashed potatoes, hamburger meat and corn all mixed together) which is my favorite. Normally I don't have enough energy to make that kind of a meal on a weekday but I felt up to it so I stopped at the store to get the ingredients and went to work making it. After mixing up the mashed potatoes I took a scoop to see if it needed more butter or anything. My throat felt like it was on fire! Tears started welling up in my eyes and I took a sip of water to try and clear out the burning only the water made it burn too! So I just sat and watched as Russ ate his delicious mashed potatoes.
When I got to work on Wednesday feeling miserable everyone told me that I HAD to go and see the Dr. I finally gave in and called and they could see me in about two hours. I left work and told everyone I would be back around 1:00. The Dr. took one look at my non-tonsils and thought I had strep. She did a test and it came back negative but she didn't believe it was really negative. So she took another sample to send off to a lab and said we wouldn't find out for two more days. She said that if it is strep she didn't want me to be working with the public (since I'm kind of in a medical field) and so I couldn't go back to work today and I would have to continue missing work until we found out what it was. If it was strep I would have to take an antibiotic for 24 hours before I could return to work. Since she thought it was strep she said I could start taking the antibiotics now and be able to come to work Thursday. I chose that option. When I called work back to let them know I couldn't return I didn't get a very warm reception which frustrated me. The same people that insisted that I go see the Dr. were upset when I let them know the Dr. said I couldn't come back to work. My office manager spoke to my Dr. and they decided I shouldn't come back in, so I went home and slept for two hours.
I returned to work today going on 48 hours of not being able to eat or drink anything and completely drained. I just knew today was going to be a horrible day. I got a little worried when a patient who was mean to me last week came through the door. I was upset that I told him we needed to update his health history and threw a fit insisting he wasn't going to do it and throwing the clipboard down on the chair. So imagine my shock when he came bearing a dozen yellow roses with my name on them. He wanted to apologize for his behavior, he had a hard day that morning (a close friend had just passed away) and was taking it out on the wrong person. Of course I forgave him, I haven't gotten flowers from anyone but Russ in a long time. Then one of the assistants brought to my attention that we have a topical anesthetic spray that I could use. That stuff was sent from heaven. It tasted disgusting but with just a few sprays I was completely numb for two hours. I could now drink water!!!! I was never more grateful for something so simple.
Hopefully in a few more days I'll be able to eat some actual solid foods. I decided my first meal then will be a hot dog from Costco, a doughnut or churro, and warm chocolate chip cookies.
Brene Brown on Boundaries & Empathy
2 years ago