I Love My Husband

I keep an ongoing list on my phone's notebook app off all the books I want to read. Whenever somebody mentions a good book or I read about one in a magazine or whatever I add it to the list so the next time I go to the bookstore I can remember what it was I wanted to read.

About a month ago Russ found the list and emailed it to himself without my knowing. One day he just showed up with one of the books on the list. I was so excited not only because he did a wonderful thing for me but because I can't make a decision to save my life and the deciding of what book to read next was already done for me.

The book was "I Was Told There'd Be Cake" which is a collection of essays. There wasn't the pull of the story to keep me reading nonstop and I just finished it Friday night. Saturday rolls around and Russ gives me another book! I really wasn't expecting it at all. I guess he bought them at the same time and was waiting for me to finish the first one before giving me the second. This one is "The Time Traveler's Wife" and I am in love with it already only 150 pages in. Thank you Aimee for the suggestion it truly is a wonderful story and I can't wait to see how it ends.

Summer Rain

Is there anything better than summer rain? I think it may be my favorite thing in the whole world. I was just sitting on the couch watching TV with the windows and doors open because it was so hot outside. Out of nowhere I noticed that familiar rain smell. I looked outside and the sky was dark but no rain. About half an hour later I started to hear the rain coming down and it made me smile. Something so simple and yet it makes me so happy.

Taco Bell

I decided to go to Taco Bell for lunch today. When I got up to the window the lady went to ask if I wanted any hot sauce then cut herself off and said "mild, right." I don't know if she remembered me, my car, my usual order of two bean burritos no onions, or she was psychic but she definitely knew what kind of sauce I like. Maybe this means I go there way too much and need to cut back on my once a week (sometimes twice) visits...

Social Anxiety

Sometime around sophmore year of high school I started to develop severe social anxiety. As I get older my anxiety gets worse and worse. When I am in a large group of people I tend to just find a spot out of the way of everyone and not say a word. I'm sure most people interpret my behavior to be anti-social or bitchy but really I'm just trying to breathe and not cry.

For Fourth of July Russ' co-worker invited us over to his house for a barbeque. In the weeks leading up the event I kept telling myself that we wouldn't end up going so I had nothing to worry about. The morning of we were running errands and I told myself that we wouldn't have time to make it over to his house. We stopped by the house on the way down there because Russ forgot something. I ran downstairs to my bathroom and burst into tears. All I could think about was that I didn't know a single person there and Russ would be socializing with everyone and leave all alone. I heard Russ coming down the stairs so I threw on my sunglasses and tried to act normal. Unfortunately, when we were talking I couldn't stop sniffling and he figured me out. He told me not to go but I knew that I have to work to overcome this crazy fear of mine so off we went. Pretty much the whole time I sat in the same seat and only spoke when spoken too. I'm sure everyone probably thought I was weird or bratty but I did it.

I even was able to go to a party at Russ' friend's house Saturday. I got teary eyed a few times but never actually cried. Major improvement! Again, I wasn't the most social person in the room but I managed to get through it.

The House

We got a call last week that wood was going to be delivered on Thursday to start building the house. I convinced Russ Thursday night to go up and see how much they had gotten done. They actually did a lot and had the entire floor framed. Everyone kept asking me if I was excited that we had bought a house and I had to admit that I really wasn't. None of it was real yet. Now that they have started I can't wait for it to be done. I think about it night and day. I think I've looked at the floor plan on Regent Homes website a bajillion times to remind myself what it will look like. Russ got an email today to set up an appointment to go over colors and whatnot. I think once we do that it will become really real. Yay for new houses!